To Speedy: "Hey, can I wear your helmet? I'll clean it. Please...?

"
To Guido: "Can you get me hooked up with a chick? I'll buy you some
eau d'toilette. You'll smell like a superstar!"
To Polly: only if I hit Speedy and Guido with a broom for slacking around, I would say, "I would like a calzone pizza, please." with a biiiig grin on my face

To Francine: nothing. I'll just give her a tip and she'll drool like a broken tap.
To Lucille: walk up reeaaal close nose-to-nose and say, "Yo momma's so blind, she'll havta be
this close to tell the time" and kiss her square on the lips. I'll get EPICLY NUKED!!
To Bad Bird: "Nice armour"
To Big Cheese: "Hey, you're not my sister?!!" after seeing through his disguise in downtown Little Tokyo
To Mama and Junior: "Nope, they're pigeons."
To an Extra: "So how can I be an extra on this set?

"
To the Rude Noise: "Play 'Louie Louie', NOW!!"