Here is a fic I wrote about a month ago, I still have to finish it.
Burkey
“I love my job. Gotta be one of the best jobs on the planet. Not only do I get to eat all the pizza I want, I get to kick some serious tail too. The feeling one gets when they strap on the armour and helmet, and drawing the infamous sword, no other feeling like it. I love living two lives, it’s the only way to go. By day, or night, I’m a quiet, somewhat edgy guy who loves delivering pizza. The other life.. Well, lets just say you already know a lot about that one..”
~ Speedy Cerviche.
~~~~~~~~~~
BurkeWorld Studios,
Proudly Presents.
“Days.”
“Aw man, how did you do that?!”
“That’s impossible, no way, let me see those cards..”
Ah, lay people. So much easier to fool. I could have had them bet their house against me if I played them right. But I needed the money. I say it doesn’t matter how you get it, as long as you get it. I continued my card/street Monte game with these two suckers, setting them up for the big kill.
“Here we go!” I exclaimed, “watch the red card, keep your eyes on it, don’t for a second take your eyes off it.”
It was too easy. I might as well have been duping a couple of concrete blocks, they’d probably know when to quit. These guys obviously had no idea with what I was doing. I switched out the red card for another black card. Of course, they bet the rest of their cash on the newly acquired black card which was carefully hidden in my palm. Easy money, life doesn’t get any easier than this.
“You cheater! I can’t believe this! No way, no freakin’ way!” The first yelled.
“Gimme my money back now! I haven’t had lunch yet!” Came the second reply.
I simply said, “Hey, you guys knew the rules and it was your choice to play, now take a hike or I’ll pick your pockets cleaner than when your mom does your laundry.”
It wasn’t the best come-back in the world, but if served it’s purpose. Both walked off angrily. Actually, I was surprised they didn‘t try to jump me. Smirking, I picked up by cards, counted the money and went on my way. I felt no guilt or remorse on tricking a pair of crow’s who’d lose their head if it was unattached. I never lose. My goal in this life is to make one thing: Money. Money, sadly to say, is the driving force behind the world. Ya can’t live with, and ya can’t live without it. It’s almost like having a wife I guess, but I could at least spend money on myself and get a quality drink or a nice roof to sleep under, while not spending it on fancy jewellery and home renovations. Call me cynical, but I love my single life. Just me and my mistress.. My deck of cards. My name was Eric “Shooter” Bains. No, I didn’t carry a gun, and I didn’t shoot things. “Shooter” was a nickname from my childhood, because even back then I could sling the cards like no one else could. I was the sneakiest card player this side of the Pacific Ocean, and damn proud of it.
This has been, by the far, the easiest city to trick people. I’ve been wandering around, I’ve met some smooth people in my time, but this place here is a con-cat’s dream. Never would have thought it was this easy, especially not after seeing the sign as I walked into town. Carrying only my pack of supplies and a deck of cards, I could single handily change the face of a city. Let me take you back a few days, show you what I mean…
~~~
“Welcome to --” I squinted out the words, “Little Tokyo: Home of the third largest ball of twine…?” I’m just as surprised as you. What kind of boast was that? Twine? Why not a Ferris wheel, or a furniture factory, or something of historical value. TWINE?!
This was going to be an interesting place. Ever since being banned from the other cities I travelled too, I think this little town of Little Tokyo was nice. Bright blue sky, green grass, and easy people to con their money from. I was in heaven. I strolled past the sign and into the city. I usually start on the outside and work my way in. However, some things have to be taken care of first. I needed a place to stay, a place with good food and a roof over my head. I wasn’t looking for a Comfy-Cat Inn or anything, but something to tide me over, so I could have time to work my magic.
“Twenty a night.” Was my first answer.
“Thanks, but no thanks.” Came my reply as I walked out of there. Cockroaches probably wouldn’t be caught dead in this place. I needed something a little higher up on the hotel hierarchy.
“45 a night.” Was my second answer.
“Does it come with a free breakfast?” I asked. Since I was usually hungry in the mornings, it was vital information to know.
“We serve tofu and Motzebal soup everyday at lunch!” Spoke the gruff inn-keeper.
“… See ya later.” I walked out.
The third place I came across, I didn’t even have to set foot into it. Just standing on the red carpet outside the main doors made me feel like I was wasting money just being there. All the fat cats of the city probably stayed here on business trips, or other such duties. I even saw one guy drive up in a 50 foot limousine. Must have been Burt Reynolds or someone like that. Nope, I decided I best move along, since some of the private security guards were starting to cast funny glances at me while unsheathing their clubs. I could take a hint, I’m not stupid. The guards didn’t like me, probably, after I stole some rich lady’ watch right off her wrist as she walked up the red carpet. After a clean pick like that, I usually legged it to safety. But these security guards were fast, so I ended up getting my physical training for the day taken care of by running a few laps around the city. Frankly, I was surprised those guys were in such good shape, thought all they did was eat donuts.
By the time I was finished my little game of tag with the rent-a-cops, I needed some food and a rest. Just my luck, I passed out from exhaustion right at the door of a Comfy-Cat Inn. Heh, the irony almost killed me on the spot, before my lungs did.
I woke up the next morning in a very soft bed. It was quite nice, probably one of the best sleeps I’ve had in a long time. I pinched myself just to make sure I was still alive. Who knows, maybe I was caught by the guards after I passed out and they bludgeoned me to death. I was then brought into heaven and placed on the best cat bed ever devised. Of course, I was wrong as I shook my head out. I looked around at my steadily clearing surroundings. Extra pillows, TV, mini-fridge, single closet, one window, and a mint placed on a pillow next to me. Yep, ya gotta hand it to Comfy-Cat Inn resorts, they know how to treat their customers. I coughed and stretched a few times, rubbed the side of my cheek. Something was stuck to my face.
“What the hell…?” I rubbed my face again, a small plastic package fell into my palm. It was another mint.
“Ow…” I rubbed the indent it made on my face. Guess there were two mints, one for me to eat, and one for me to sleep on. I wasn’t complaining, those two mints made the purr-fect breakfast. I was ready for the day once again. Isn’t life fun when you rough it in a strange city? But something kept gnawing at the back of my head.. How the hell did I get in here? And how the hell did I sleep on a mint all night…?
The eternal mystery, I still to this day, have yet to figure out.
I didn’t have time to think about, it was indeed another day another dollar, just the way I like it.
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