I was browsing a few sites looking for old shows from the 80s, such as
G.I. Joe and
Transformers, when I came across an interesting memory from my childhood. There's a site called
http://captainn.net/ that deals with an old show from many of our childhood memories.
First a bit of history for you younglings out there. Back in the 80s, when the NES was the big deal, we didn't just play video games. We had all sorts of accessories, such as the
Blaster,
Power Glove,
Nintendo Vest and even a belt that you could strap a controller to so you didn't need to hold it with two hands. There was even a robot that could play Nintendo for you! Heck, we even ate
Nintendo Cereal! I'm not kidding! Any gamer from the times had or did all this, whether they admit to it or not.
And it didn't stop there. They had videos giving tips on some of the big games of the time, and we even had a US National Video Game Team with matching jumpsuits (to offset the fact that they couldn't play video games to save their lives)! They also had all sorts of cartoons such as the
Power Team, the
Super Mario Super Show, and even a Zelda show dealing with video games (and even using NES sound effects for the 2-minute battle scenes).
But back then, you weren't truly considered 'Rad to the Max', unless you watched
Captain N: The Game Master. Released in 1989, this show was as older gamers know, another clever attempt to market games by giving you video game tips and disguising it as an action show. But enough of the history. Here's the deal. And bear with me. I have some Pics, but I won't be able to give you visual aids on everything.
In a universe parallel to Earth, lies a kingdom known as Videoland. This kingdom is a nexus between just about every Video Game-based World of the time. Think of it as an NES version of Traverse Town, but even more screwed up.
Well, just like the opening to most games of the time, the Kingdom is under attack. Now, based on all of the video game related shows of the time, can you guess who is leading the attack? No, don't look at the bottom. Give a ball park guess. Ok. Are you ready? Here's the leader of the attack.
That's right. It's none other than Mother Brain. And guess what? Lipstick! Bear with me on this. The easiest way to picture Mother Brain is thinking of Audrey from
Little Shop of Horrors and making her into the above image. Now, of course evil can't
ever win. After all, this was the 80s. So, we go to the interior of Videoland's Palace.
From the left to the right it is Simon Belmont, Princess Lana, Kid Icarus, and Megaman (I guess the artists were color blind?).
Princess Lana is one of the few original characters in the show. She's a typical Princess, getting captured and having to be saved - that sort of thing. In fact, the two male humans constantly fought over her.
Kid Icarus is from a game of the same name. He flies around and shoots little arrows with heart-shaped points on them. He talks in a New York/Augie Doggie accent. Doesn't sound bad until you notice his speech impediment. He has to add '-icus' to every other sentence he speaks. Fortunately, he doesn't talk much.
Megaman is the little BLUE robot from the game. I don't know if it was a joke, a copyright thing, or just because the animator was colorblind, but sure enough, he's green in this. And instead of his breastplate, he wears a shirt! And it doesn't stop there with poor Megaman. No, it gets worse. He not only talks like he swallowed a popsickle stick, but he has to add 'mega' to every noun that he says.
Finally, we get to Simon Belmont. He starred in the first two Castlevania games and thusly is, of course, the most well-built character. Instead of wearing red on black, like the games, he's wearing a blue winter coat. And he's a gogglehead! Don't know why, he just is. He's conceited, stuck up, and thinks his stuff doesn't stink. He also usually has to have everything HIS way. This often gets the rest of the group into trouble. All things considered though, he probably has the BEST voice of all the good guys in the show.
Anyway, they're trying to figure out what to do when a booming Zordon-esque voice-over suddenly mentions a prophecy about a stranger from another world, a Master. Then he says that the 'Ultimate Warp Zone' has opened. Then, we see some bad live-action footage of a teenager playing Nintendo.
Now, he gets sucked through this 'Warp Zone' into Videoland, along with his dog, Duke. Due to physics I can't even begin to describe, live-action Kevin turns into this.
Long story short, he has to 'save' Videoland from the evil Mother Brain. But he has powers, just like everyone else there. His are in the shape of the 'Legendary Belt Of Power'. Basically, it's a utility belt with an NES controller and Zapper on it. But they aren't ordinary. With a press of the button, Kevin can do things from freezing time, to jumping really high (and I mean 'high'). Well, of course one extra boy against an endless army of video game villains is ALWAYS going to turn the tide of battle, even against the all-powerful Mother Brain.
But she wasn't alone in her bid for conquest. She had two stooges that were always with her, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. They were the obligatory resident bunglers. If there was an ingenius plan to hatch, guaranteed they'd find a way to screw it up. And it wasn't just by running into walls or dropping artifacts. These two were like stooges to the tenth power. Team Rocket would literally stand in awe of their stupidity. One HAS to ask themselves at this point. Whatever happened to Kraid and Ridley?! Couldn't she have just used those two? Things I think of when I'm alone at night and the power goes out.
Now, if you're revisiting your childhood memories and watching this. Please remember one thing. It was made in 89. So when you see bad-*** Alucard looking like this:
Don't be surprised. Part of the fun was how badly made the show was. They mispronounce names (Dr. Light is Dr. Right), they totally take the games out of proportion (In Donkey Kong, they climb a volcano to avoid the ape), and most of the voices are crap. But that's how dedicated we were back then. We put up with it to be 'Rad to the Max', and we maybe, just maybe enjoyed it a little.
Next time on
Videoland Oddities: Simon Belmont's Backpack. The physics will boggle your mind.
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