If you've never done this before, it's easy. Simply read the background info, post, look at the time the message was posted, and use the number in the seconds part to find your result. For example, if you posted at 12:56 and 13 seconds, you would scroll down on the list to the 13th result and that is what you get.
I worked really hard on this (for like an hour
), so I hope you like it. I believe that's all, so here goes. Good luck, and have fun.
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One day, after a few hours of browsing the internet, you begin to hear strange noises coming from the basement. You go down there and...
00. You find the nuclear potato and sell it to the military for millions of dollars. The mere fact that this weapon exists causes the leaders of all rogue nations/terrorist organizations to tremble with fear, and they quickly convert to democracies/charity organizations. You are renowned across the free world as a hero, and statues of you are erected in every major city. MEGA-WIN!
01. You find the nuclear potato. It explodes, killing you instantly. That’s not all though. It turns out you were hosting a family reunion/block party at your house. Everyone you know and love is dead, and radiation is spread for hundreds of miles, causing inestimable deaths. MEGA-LOSE!
02. You find Francine, but she mistakes you for an exploding eggbot thing and beats you to death with a frying pan. LOSE!
03. You find Francine, and she becomes your personal financial advisor, and with her help, you start the most successful corporation ever and become infinitely rich and powerful. WIN!
04. Four always wins. You get whatever SPC related thing/character you want. But only one thing.
05. You find Lucille. She is frightened by your entrance, and fires off her rockets. You are seriously injured, and your house is almost completely destroyed. LOSE!
06. You find Lucille. (If your are female) The two of you start a two member band which quickly rises to the top of the charts. You go down in history as one of the greatest singing duos ever. (If you are male) You have your own personal geisha. Kinda self-explanatory here. WIN!
07. You find a mini version of the Great Golden Cluck, who tells you the winning number of this weeks lottery. You rush to the nearest convenience store to buy a ticket, only to find that they are sold out. But you do buy Skittles while you are there. WIN?
08. You find Guido, and he teaches you the subtle art of seduction. With these new skills you charm anyone you want, and start a romance that will be written about in romance novels for centuries. WIN!
09. You find Guido. After spending ten minutes of listening to that windbag talk about how great he is, you get bored and leave. He goes and pouts in the corner. LOSE!
10. You find Speedy and, ecstatic to have the leader of the Pizza Cats in your house, you invite him to stay for a while. He never leaves, however, and mooches off of you for the rest of your life. He never gets a job and eats all your food. LOSE!
11. You find Speedy, and he becomes your personal bodyguard. No one ever messes with you again. WIN!
12. The basement is dark, and while you are fumbling around for a lightswitch, you step on Polly’s tail. She scratches your face, hits you with a frying pan, and runs out. LOSE!
13. You find Polly Esther. She teaches you to be charming and socially graceful, which serves you well later in life, where you single-handedly bring about world peace. You do have the occasionally angry outburst though, especially when people step on your feet. Oh, you can also make great pizza. WIN!
14. You find Emperor Fred, who just sits in your basement saying “FRED!” over and over. You are driven insane by his constant yapping, and live the rest of your life in an insane asylum. LOSE!
15. You find Emperor Fred, and he greets you with a hearty “FR-ED!”. You laugh. W-…WIN?
16. You find the all the original SPC episodes. On a whim, you send it to Cartoon Network, and they place it in a primetime slot. It is quickly regarded as one of the greatest shows of all time. WIN!
17. You find Lucille’s brother, who makes you some sushi. It’s quite good. WIN!
18. You find the Big Cheese, and you two start a crime syndicate. Nothing you do is ever a complete success, but you still become rich and go down in history as the weirdest criminals ever. WIN!
19. You find Al Dente, who teaches you martial arts. You become a world-renowned martial arts master, and become the bodyguard of the leader of your nation. WIN!
20. You find The Great Catatonic. You use its extreme powers to take over the world. WIN!
21. You find Guru Lou, and before you can react, he forces some of his special elixir down your throat. You are doomed to run circles around the earth for the rest of your life. Yes, even over water. LOSE!
22. You find Guru Lou. The two of you team up and start the most successful (and profitable) invention laboratory since Thomas Edison. WIN!
23. You find the tasty beverage you were looking for. WIN!
24. You find that you are out of your favorite drink. LOSE!
25. You find Princess Violet, who is of course accompanied by her personal guards. She takes your surprise as an insult, and sends you to Prisoner Island. STEALTH WIN!
26. You find Princess Violet, and she immediately falls in love with you. You two marry and you become the heir to the throne in Edoropolis. If you are a female, you switch places with her and become the princess. WIN!
27. You find Bad Bird, who teaches you the ways of the ninja. You can now climb walls, move silently, throw shurikens with 100% accuracy, and do anything a ninja can. WIN!
28. You find Bad Bird, who decides that you are now his new arch-rival. He is always trying to mess up everything you do, and while he never succeeds, it is really really annoying. LOSE!
29. You meet Jerry Atric, whose sage advice makes you a success in anything you do. WIN!
30. You meet Jerry Atric, and he becomes your mentor. His advice is pretty awful, though, and most of your endeavors fail. You also notice that you explode a lot more. LOSE!
31. You find The Rude Noise. You join their band, and you become one of the greatest metal bands of all time. WIN!
32. You find The Rude Noise. They insist on practicing in your basement, and they practice all the time. You finally snap and throw them out of your house, but they return with a giant robot and destroy your house in revenge. LOSE!
33. You find a group of Ninja Crows. They attack you, but you manage to take them all down with your bare hands. Congratulations, you are a badass. WIN!
34. You find a group of Ninja Crows. They quickly tie you up and beat the tar out of you. You feel bad because you got your ass handed to you by Ninja Crows. LOSE!
35. You find Mama and Junior. They teach you how to be witty and sarcastic, skills that come in handy later when you become a famous late night talk show host. WIN!
36. You find Mama and Junior, who make sarcastic remarks about your hair, style of dress, and pretty much everything about you. You feel bad. LOSE!
37. You find the SPC NES game. WIN!
38. You find the SPC NES game, but you don’t know anyone with an NES, so you never get to play it. LOSE!
39. You find all the SPC merchandise you could ever want. WIN!
40. You find the complete Kyattou Ninden Teyandee manga series, translated into English/whatever your native language is. WIN!
41. You find the complete Kyattou Ninden Teyandee manga series, but your younger siblings have drawn all over it, and it is unreadable and worthless! ARRGGH! LOSE!
42. You find the creator of Kyattou Ninden Teyandee tied up in your basement. It turns out that a rabid KNT hater tied him up and left him in a random basement (which happened to be yours) years ago. How he survived (and why you never noticed him before) is a mystery, but he goes on to make many more new seasons of KNT/SPC. WIN!
43. You find a rabid SPC hater, who has made it his personal mission to destroy everything related to SPC. You manage to knock him out and call the police. He is arrested, and will never harm SPC again. WIN!
44. You find a rabid SPC hater, who has destroyed/deleted everything you have that’s related to SPC. He also called the police and notified them of your downloaded SPC episodes. You are arrested, and as an example to others, are put in jail for life. LOSE!
45. As you enter the basement, you are hit with a stunning revelation. SPC never actually existed, it was just something you made up with an overactive childhood imagination. As for this website? It’s actually a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fansite, and all the other users have just been playing along while secretly thinking that you’re insane. LOSE!
46. You find Smilin’ Jack, who proceeds to tickle you to death. LOSE!
47. You find Princess Vi’s mom, who takes you with her on her travels around the world. WIN!
48. You find the New York Pizza Cats. You’re disappointed that they’re not the real Pizza Cats, but hey, it’s better than nothing. WIN!
49. You are surprised and killed by a manticore! It quickly shreds your flesh and devours you. LOSE!
50. You find the alien pig. It eats you. LOSE!
51. You find the B-Team! Whenever you’re in physical danger, these guys will come and bail you out. WIN!
52. You find an authentic weapon from the SPC universe. WIN!
53. You find nothing. Hey, at least you didn’t die. LOSE?!
54. You find Al Dente. He is convinced that your house is the palace, and throws you out. You can’t get back in because he guards it like a maniac. LOSE!
55. You find that your basement has somehow overnight turned into the Pizza Cats Pizza Parlor. You get free, delicious pizza whenever you want. WIN!
56. You find one of the Big Cheese’s robots. You accidentally activate it, and it destroys your entire city. LOSE!
57. You find one of Big Cheese’s robots. You use it to take over the city. WIN!
58. You find the narrator. He narrates everything you do for the rest of your life. Sometimes he’s quite funny, other times he’s just plain annoying. TIE!
59. You find all three of the Pizza Cats! They train you in the ways of the samurai, and you become a samurai crime-fighter! While everyone appreciates what you do, they can’t help but think you’re a little loopy. WIN!
60. You break all the laws of time and space. Way to go there, big guy. Couldn’t post at :00, noooo, you had to post at :60, which by the way, DOESN’T EXIST. Like the universe. Because you broke it. LOSE!
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